Listening to: 21Pilots
Hello DA goers. Sometimes I update via pictures in very vague ways because I am a vague person these days. But here's an update on a journal. Just so you know. Not that it really matters too much haha.
I'm working pretty much full time right now with a home improvement store. I'm in the paint department and get to use cool machinery and lift lots of 5gal and 1gal buckets. The town I've been living in since February has been... 'kind'... to me. Though I still feel rather isolated. After a lot of events these past years, I've become quite the recluse. My friend/cousin who goes to the University around here says people think i'm 'cool but very quiet'. She says it like it's a bad thing (not on purpose but I get that feel). But lol aint nobody got time for that. I'm a kaleidoscope when it comes to sides to see right now. I don't feel like humoring everyone I meet :>
Ahem. Anyway. I work morning shifts most days. Before the sun rises, but a full 'day' would leave me with an afternoon and some sun as well, so that's nice. Also spring is fantastic. Winter was hell for me haha.
I'm here in this town until July. I don't know where I'll live after that. Or if I can afford to go to college again. Waiting on family taxes for that because I'm still a 'dependent' until 24yrs old or until i'm married *rolls eyes at the system*.
But yeah. Life is moving.
Missing people today. I got to see Aaron for Easter. It was a bit messy of a visit as he was working (He has a job too~) but it was better than nothing and very needed. We always have a bit of withdrawal after we leave each other. Which is normal I'm sure.
Missing a friend I lost last year as well. Missing them big time.. I had to cut off things with them and it was my choice. Which kind of makes me feel like I killed them sometimes... I see now, with the circumstances I would not have been able to stop, that my decision was... necessary.
But just like how I'm separated from my love and hope to return to him, I am hoping and praying that I'll be able to see the friend that I lost... I really wish I could tell them the grief and loss I feel for them. And that I miss them so so much. But I also have seen decisions butterfly affect with me and Aaron and our struggles. I wouldn't want to mess up whatever God has plans for before its time. I want the best for all the people I know and for myself. There's lots of patience that has to be had... :/